in a few hours time im heading to china for a short holidays. and i have a few more hours to finish my 3000 words report, one presentation. this is really the very last project before i really graduated. this is crazily insane.
everything just happened just so fast which i have no idea what i am doing. i have been crying very often since the last two weeks. i am so scared of what im going through, knowing next year i would already be 20. i feel so fucked up with my life that i have not been enjoying as much as i could, be crazy as i could. it's a very strange feeling to be just graduated, to be moving out of my comfort zone, to be independent, to be a level smarter, to be isolated with what i would wish i could be. woow, giving up has come to my mind very often these few days, i am not sure how long my bad luck will follow me and if this will cause me to get into accident, causing me to collasp, causing me to death. it's already two weeks. i hope i see a better "thing" eventually.

a few hours ago was my last day of exhibtion, =(
seeing friends leaving, seeing myself leaving, receiving best wishes from friends and etc just make me really emotional and upset. i felt so emotional. my goodness. and last of all, i see things that i didn't expect to see. two of them today. =/

so many wrk piling up
im so scared i couldnt make it.....
wtf

back from aussie!
=D gain 2 kg back like in 5 or 6 days? bravo.

let's see... 2 months + 6 days more to ESMOD

tsktsk.

I pray hard

76 more days before commencing of new school

 48 more days to graduation


J'ai peur!
I pray hard every nights for everything will go smoothly. New friends are nice and friendly who are not racists.



Leaving for australia tomorrow. so hectic...

WISHING LIST

ZARA RED SCARF $49.90
ZARA MIXED CHECKERS N RED SCARF $39.90
ZARA TOP $49.90

SKULL LONG SCARF $15
A BIG RED BEANNIE( i have big head )
WINTER LONG COAT
BLACK COTTON SCARF

PENDANT STOCKS USD 48.00


it looks like i want a lot of scarves, cant wait to China to hunt for those long long scarves, those i found at far east plaza were still far too way short to compete with zara duper long scarves :)

FEAR

Oh well, my Europe trip is really an adventurous one and with 100% cultural shock. I am not sure if I will be able to survive for a year there. If I have the time, I will post some pictures up here though. LOL. That 12 or 13 days trip, was realllllllyyyyyyyy so experiencing, shocking, overwhelming, what emotions you ever had, i have had it.

Few minutes ago, I was browsing through a friend of mine on facebook and seeing her new life in london with her asian friends in school, I feel kind of worried. The first thought to me was like, oh... will I be getting a absoute racist environment in Paris next year, in my school, and obviously in my class. *faint* This is really mentally torture. I am already imagining the only asian who picks up French a year ago picking up her guts to study there alone. tsktsk. Is this insane or something? People have been telling me 'oh, you are going there alone w/o friends?' I will go, ' Yeah.' Im kind of thinking what's the big deal with going with friends or not, I mean yeah, with friends is safer and all but on the other hand, there is also lots more of freedom... And most importantly, I don't want to be dragged by my friends behind just because I want to do a different area of study, very different from what I am studying now. I want to study for my own sake not for my friends' sake, for goodness sake.

"You are a brave kid."
"You are just like a guy."
"I really admire you so much."

oh yeah yeah yeah. You haven't seen my inner fear I am facing. I'm going nuts already. The dates are drawing nearer. I don't know how the hell I'm going to handle this. Is felt like this is the BIGGEST EVER TEST I am facing in my life, is even bigger a deal of dashing a car towards a wall or what. sigh.

Heading to Paris!

In a few more hours time, i will be heading to the airport to Dubai. Then to Paris. Then Italy!
YOOHOO!!! cant wait! :D
excitessss.... gotta bring lotsa goodies back and hopefully i can find some exotic stuffs or some kinda weird things which i can do for my D.I.Y accessories!!!

Well, you know... i always feel that blogging is just a waste of time and nuisance... since I have left about a few months before embarking my next new stage of life... I have decided to refresh my new conception of blogs. I am still in a dilemma if I should "publicize" my blog to other people, so as to stay in contact when I am not around here anymore. On the other hand, I probably will not feel like sharing those idiots out there about my whereabouts. These idiots refer to people I really dislike. Donc, I will see how it goes when I am about to leave. 

ermm... haha. okay my next vacations is coming real real soon! voilà! my rail tickets to travel in Europe. happy? Yes, I am indeed.

ah. tu vois, =D Exciting, this is the very first time I ever going to travel so far and around w/o any darn tours. yay man. can't wait to explore, it this turns out good, I probably be obsessed of touring the whole europe with some rich buddies. muaha.

Paris here I come.